Dear Abby: I am recently married, and my husband and I have not consummated our marriage. I made it very clear that this would not be a part of our life together, and he agreed long before we took our vows. We sleep separately.
Recently, my husband has become sullen and passive-aggressive. He tries to push the issue, to the point of making unwanted physical contact. He knew going in that I am extremely uncomfortable with this form of intimacy and that my views would not change.
We love each other, but his behavior is starting to take a toll on me and the stress is straining our relationship. Please help.
– Asexual in Love
Dear Asexual: You and your husband are obviously not on the same page as far as what your expectations are about your marriage. How uncomfortable for you and how frustrating for him. He may have thought that after your wedding, with time, he could change your mind, or he may regard your lack of interest in sex as personal rejection.
For the kind of marriage you envisioned, BOTH parties must feel the same way about sex. Because he agreed to something he can’t live with, it might be better for both of you if you separated.
Dissing the discount
Dear Abby: Would you please settle a disagreement I’m having with my mother’s boyfriend?
The three of us go out to eat together often. Most times we “go Dutch” and pay for our own meals. The problem arises when he pays for my meal. He’ll request the senior price for all of us because he’s paying.
I believe the senior discount should apply to the seniors in the group only, and mine should be the regular price. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask for the senior discount for theirs when I’m paying, but do not feel right claiming it for mine. (I’m more than 20 years away from qualifying.)
It embarrasses me when he does it. I’d much rather pay the full adult price. Even if it’s only 50 cents, I still feel like it’s cheating.
Shouldn’t a senior discount apply to items being purchased for the senior, or should the senior be able to apply their discount for everyone at the table, even if the person is underage?
– Kim in Iowa City
Dear Kim: Senior discounts are intended to accommodate people who are presumably retired and living on a fixed income. That said, various restaurants make their own rules. If they are willing to comply when your mother’s boyfriend asks that everyone be included in the discount, it’s no reflection on you if he’s the one doing the asking and paying the bill.
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