Dear Abby: My wife died a few years ago. I live alone and have been a bachelor since then.
Old friends have been kind enough to pass along the names and phone numbers of widows or divorcees they felt would be of interest to me. I have taken several of them out to dinner. Some were interesting, but for one reason or another we didn’t have enough “chemistry” for me to call them for another date.
What is the considerate thing to do after having just one date? Should I call the person and say it was pleasant, but …? Should I not call at all and move on? I feel guilty at times for not following up with some comment, as they were mostly nice women. Any suggestions about how to handle these situations would be welcome.
– Miami Widower
Dear Widower: Conversations such as this can be awkward, which is why many people avoid having them. Because you feel you “should” say something, a way to handle it would be to say you had a nice time, but you are still grieving and are not ready for a relationship. Chemistry is supposed to be mutual, so don’t be surprised if some of the women aren’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you, either. That’s life.
Suggestions for Santa
Dear Abby: I work in a store that is popular with teenagers. Every Christmas, parents and grandparents come in here with absolutely no clue what to get. Asking “What’s popular right now?” doesn’t help. (What’s cool to one teen may be lame to another.)
I’d like to offer a couple of tips to help clueless relatives select the right gift for their teen. (1) Bring a recent photo of her or him. We can tell a lot by looking. It will provide hints as to what kind of gift they may like.
(2) Copy a list of their “likes” from Facebook and bring it with you. It may mention books, music, movies or other interests that will make it easy to track down something they would enjoy. I hope this helps some of your readers.
– Valerie in Fort Worth
Dear Valerie: Bless you for writing. I’m sure many parents and grandparents will take your suggestions to heart. Santa isn’t the only one who needs a “helper” at Christmastime.
Wife comes first
Dear Abby: When a man is married, who is supposed to come first in his life – his wife or his mother?
– Tired of Being Second String
Dear Tired: At the risk of sounding preachy, the Scripture says a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.
As much as a man may love his mother, in order to have a strong and healthy marriage, his wife should come first if he must make a choice.