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(Last week’s ranking in parentheses)

1. Houston Texans. Foster has TD in 11 straight. (2)

2. Atlanta Falcons. Arizona is a good bounce-back foe for Falcons. (1)

3. San Francisco 49ers. Have allowed most sacks per attempt in league. (3)

4. Chicago Bears. Giants-Cubs would outscore Bears-Niners. (4)

5. Baltimore Ravens. Won 4 of last 6 over Pitt. (6)

6. Green Bay Packers. Stephen Hawking hired to figure out psyche of Wisconsin voters. (5)

7. New England Patriots. Tom Brady greater than Sinatra’s caponata. (7)

8. Pittsburgh Steelers. No Ben, no chance. (8)

9. Denver Broncos. Nate Silver gives Den 90.5 percent chance of beating Chargers. (9)

10. Seattle Seahawks. 6-4 despite being 32nd in passing. (11)

11. Indianapolis Colts. Wideout Donnie Avery coming on. (12)

12. N.Y. Giants. Secondary struggling. (10)

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. No. 1 vs. run; No. 32 vs. pass. (13)

14. New Orleans Saints. Allowing 469 yards/game. (28)

15. Dallas Cowboys. Johnny Manziel is the second coming of Doug Flutie. (14)

16. Minnesota Vikings. Christian Ponder dinking, dunking. (18)

17. Tennessee Titans. Have lost too much D-line talent over years. (23)

18. St. Louis Rams. Rookie Robert Quinn has 8.5 sacks. (29)

19. Cincinnati Bengals. A.J. Green has TD catch in 8 straight. (21)

20. Detroit Lions. Lost 20 of last 23 to Packers. (15)

21. Philadelphia Eagles. 29th in red zone. (17)

22. Buffalo Bills. Any win is a good win. (24)

23. Washington Redskins. Have lost 5 of last 6 to Eagles. (20)

24. San Diego Chargers. Wondering whatever happened to Leslie “Speedy” Duncan. (19)

25. Miami Dolphins. Need WRs. (16)

26. N.Y. Jets. Aaron Maybin: 48 games, 36 tackles, 6 sacks. (22)

27: Arizona Cardinals. 32nd in rushing. (25)

28. Carolina Panthers. Defense not getting takeaways. (26)

29. Oakland Raiders. Nobody lays an egg like the Raidahs. (27)

30. Cleveland Browns. Otto Graham was 14 pounds, 12 ounces at birth. (30)

31: Jacksonville Jaguars. Thought they were so loaded, they drafted a punter in third round. Brilliant! (31)

32. Kansas City Chiefs. Worse than the Charlestown Chiefs. (32)