Dear Abby: I have been dating a divorced woman for four years. She said in the beginning that she had very little sexual experience because her former husband "had problems," but decided after the divorce to find out what she was missing. She hasn't discussed this in detail, but once in a while she lets out little snippets of information that lead me to believe she was active.
Do I have a right, now that we're engaged, to know how many partners she had since the divorce? She's being evasive about it.
- Wondering Widower
Dear Wondering: No, you do not have that "right," because if she answers the question, your next questions will be what are their names, how many times did she sleep with them and were they better than you are in bed. Sometimes it is wiser to leave the past in the past and simply appreciate the special relationship you have with the person you love.
Dear Abby: I am a healthy, active older man who is in love with a woman my age. Coincidentally, we are in-laws. Her husband and my wife are both deceased. Having known each other for many years, we are very close and have found renewed happiness with each other. We are in love.
Our adult children tell us we are not being rational. Our peers see nothing wrong with it. Do we ignore our children's advice and seek happiness together for the next few years? Please tell me something that makes sense.
- Confused Retired Engineer
Dear Confused: You have raised your kids and buried your wife. You deserve to be happy. What makes sense is you and this lady you have known for years being happily together. Your children's attitude is what's irrational.
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Don't let anything - or anybody - keep you from voting on Tuesday, Nov. 6. It may be the most important thing you will do all year.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.