Dear Abby: My husband and I just got some shocking news. His father, age 81, is leaving his wife of 60 years! Mom is not entirely self-sufficient and seems dependent on him.
Dad found himself a younger woman - a "chick" of 70. He has announced that he still has sexual needs and wants to enjoy the rest of his life. My husband thinks it will be a short-term fling and he'll return to Mom, but she says she won't be taking him back. (Who knows how she'll feel later?)
My problem is, no matter what happens between them, I'm having a hard time even considering forgiving him for his selfishness. I know it's not my place as his daughter-in-law, but I don't know how I can bring myself to face him feeling as I do. Any words of wisdom?
- Judgmental Judy in Arizona
Dear Judgmental Judy: I do have a few. If your mother-in-law hasn't already done so, make sure she gets the best legal advice possible. After 60 years of marriage, there should be plenty of assets to split. They will make her financially independent, and from that, emotional independence will follow. Do not count her out as a weak sister just yet because she appears to be stronger than you think.
While it's possible your father-in-law may want to reunite after the fling, it is equally possible that when the "chick" sees his nest egg is cracked in half, he will be less appealing to her. Only time will tell. In the meantime, keep the peace, bide your time, and as tempting as it may be to voice everything that's on your mind, keep your lip zipped. This isn't your marriage, so don't stir the pot.
Dear Abby: I have an issue I'd like your opinion on. What should the Tooth Fairy do with baby teeth after collecting them? She stopped coming to our house years ago, but the baby teeth have been dutifully saved - every one of them - in a jar where the Tooth Fairy left them.
I thought I was unique in this predicament, but found out that a sister-in-law had the same dilemma. Our kids are adults now, but I don't know what I should or could do with these little keepsakes of a beautiful boy who stole my heart the minute I looked into his eyes.
- Always His Mom
Dear Mom: Let's see . you could have them mounted and display them on a charm bracelet. You could offer to sell them back to your son. Or, you could place them in an envelope and put them in a box with the curl from his first haircut and a pair of his baby shoes. One day I'm sure he'll be touched.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.