Dear Abby: I have been married for 10 years. Early in our marriage my husband talked about wanting to try swinging. We did, and had many enjoyable experiences.
Two years ago he decided he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle, so we stopped. The problem is, I miss it very much. I want to get back into it and have talked with him about it, but he insists we stay out of it. I am torn between going to parties behind his back, suffering my displeasure in silence because I'm not able to do something I really enjoyed, or divorcing. Can you help me figure this out?
- Foxy in Phoenix
Dear Foxy: Let's review your options as a process of elimination. I don't recommend that you do anything behind your husband's back because, at some point, what you're doing is sure to come out. I also do not recommend suffering in silence because sooner or later your unhappiness will become apparent.
That leaves the option of divorce. Because you and your husband no longer see eye to eye on the issue of marital fidelity and he wants a wife who will "cleave" unto him only, it makes sense to go your separate ways so both of your needs can be met.
A clumsy conversation
Dear Abby: The other day when I went jogging, I met a guy just as I stopped to take a water break. He started flirting and I was too tired to tell him to leave, so I decided to humor him until I cooled down enough to resume my jog.
He asked me basic questions trying to get to know me, and when I told him I was a college student, he asked for my GPA. When I told him it was none of his business, he laughed and asked what my problem was. He said no one else had complained when he asked, and he didn't mean to pry. I still felt he was being rude, so I said goodbye and jogged off before he could say anything.
Abby, I wasn't trying to hide a low GPA, but I don't think it's something to tell people in a first meeting.
Is it normal for people to ask others what their GPA is - especially if they just met?
- Co-Ed in Boston
Dear Co-Ed: When someone says he or she is a student, the question that usually follows is, "Where are you studying?" or "What's your major?" It's not, "What's your GPA?" which seems like a not-so-subtle way of asking whether you're a good student or not.
His attempt to make conversation was clumsy - and because he said the question is one he asks routinely, let's hope he learns from his encounter with you and scratches it off his list of pickup lines.
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