Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married 10 years. At every company he has worked at, there was ALWAYS a female he got close to - sometimes a little "too close." We have had counseling. Our counselor has told him his behavior is destructive in a marriage and he should be an "open book" for as long as it takes to rebuild the trust in our relationship.
I recently found that he has changed all the passwords on his email and computer accounts. Needless to say, I am seriously disturbed by his behavior. He hasn't said anything about it, and I think he's waiting for me to ask him why. I think he wants to make the point that his "privacy" is being compromised, but I also suspect there is another new woman he's interested in recruiting.
I'm tired of these games. I don't know whether to finally walk away because I don't think he'll ever change. Please help.
- Running Out Of Energy
Dear Running: Obviously, what your husband has done is a red flag. Tell him you know he has changed his passwords Forgive me for appearing negative, but if after 10 years the two of you haven't been able to fix what's missing in your marriage, there is nothing more I can suggest.
Abide by friend's wish
Dear Abby: A longtime friend of mine was diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago. She let me know that once she reached a certain point in the disease she did not want to be paraded around for others to gawk at. That time came about a year ago, but I still pick her up every Sunday and take her to church. It's the only time she gets to leave the nursing home, and she loves it. The people at church give her hugs and go out of their way to treat her well and she feels it. Am I wrong in going against her earlier wishes?
- Friend In Arizona
Dear Friend: I think you are. Your friend clearly stated when she was in her right mind that she did not want to be an object of pity. You have taken away her right to be remembered with dignity. And while it was done in a well-meaning way, I don't agree with it.