Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for six years. We finally moved in together a year ago. Things have been going pretty well, with the exception of an unusual habit of his that has become more evident since living together. He spends anywhere from 45 minutes to 2½ hours in the bathroom every day. A couple of times he has even fallen asleep in there.
He takes his computer in the bathroom because he claims he gets a lot of work done. Some days I barely get to see him because he works late and then spends the rest of the day you-know-where.
I have told him more than once how much it bothers me, but he continues to do it. It's driving a wedge between us. Am I overreacting? Is he purposely trying to put space between us?
- Tired of the Toilet Turmoil
Dear Tired: He may be using the bathroom as a refuge from more "togetherness" than he can handle, or he may be doing something on his computer that's more than work-related. I do think there is more going on than he's telling you, but in order to get to the bottom of it, you will have to convince him to open up and be honest.
And no, I do not think that after having invested six years in this relationship you are "overreacting."
Friend offers help
Dear Abby: I work 40-plus hours a week and have a 3-year-old and two dogs. My good friend "Kate" has a 6-year-old, 2-year-old twins and a dog. Her house is dirty. The bathroom is dusty and stained, and in the kitchen, dishes are piled in the sink. Would it be rude to offer her a few hours to clean up some key rooms? If not, how would I go about offering without being too blunt?
- Have Mop, Will Travel
Dear Have: Try this. Say, "Kate, you have your hands full, so why don't I come over one morning this weekend and help with the housework? Then we'll grab some lunch. It'd be fun. What do you say?"