Dear Abby: I am 20 years younger than my husband. I am also attractive and sexually available to him. We have a great relationship except for one thing. I can’t trust him! I have caught him emailing women he met at work, inviting our neighbor to go with him on a motorcycle ride and heard many stories about him asking women on dates. But the worst was when I found out he was calling a woman every day and going to her house when I was at work. When I confronted him he said nothing sexual happened. Why does he feel he has to have other women? I really believe some men are cheaters no matter what. Oh, yeah, I’m his fourth wife. He cheated on the others, too. How can I make him want only me?
– Cheated On in the Midwest
Dear Cheated On: You can’t. It may give you some comfort to know that the behavior you have described has nothing to do with you or your level of desirability. It is COMPULSIVE. You were naive to think if you married a serial cheater that he would be a faithful husband to you. The only person who can “make” him think differently is him, and before that can happen, he will have to realize he needs to change.
Good example for daughter
Dear Abby: I have been a single mother for seven years raising a wonderful 16-year-old daughter. She is an honor student, works part-time and is very mature. I am dating an older man, “Gary,” who has grown children. Gary feels my daughter is old enough to spend a couple of nights a week alone in our house, while I spend the night with him. His house is 14 miles away. I live in a safe neighborhood, but the idea of leaving her alone makes me very uncomfortable. This is causing a rift between Gary and me. He feels I am having a hard time “cutting the apron strings.” Is he right?
– Single Mom in the Midwest
Dear Single Mom: Inform Gary you are not ready to “cut the apron strings” because you don’t want your relationship with your daughter to turn to shreds. Although you say your daughter is mature, you are responsible for her safety and welfare until she turns 18. That includes setting a good example.