Dear Abby: My father died eight years ago. Mother couldnít afford to bury him at the time, so he was cremated. Mom asked me to keep his ashes until her time was up so they could be buried together. I have had them ever since. It makes me feel like he is still with me, that I have not totally lost him.
However, over the last year, my brothers and sisters have led my mother to believe that I wonít respect her wishes to have them buried together when the time comes. She is pressuring me to bury him NOW. It hurts me that my family could even think I would take that away from my mother.
To this day, my siblings say mean things about Dad, claiming he was a ďterribleĒ father and husband. Iím a lot younger than the rest of them, so itís possible I never saw the bad side of him. The father I knew was a caring, loving man, and it drives me crazy to hear my siblings speak ill of him.
Abby, I donít know what to do. If I go ahead and bury my dadís ashes now, I feel I will be losing him completely.
Ė Sad And Misunderstood Daughter
Dear Daughter: Perhaps there is a way to satisfy everybody. Before returning your fatherís ashes to your mother and siblings for burial, take a small portion to keep for yourself. Your feelings are not all that unusual, and contrary to popular belief, not all ashes are scattered or buried. Sometimes they are retained by family members who are not yet ready to part with them.
Time to get organized
Dear Abby: Iím going into junior high. Iím a straight-A student and get my homework and projects done. But Iím not that organized. I always put my assignments away, but when I need them, theyíre never there!
My mom complains to me about it and calls me a troll. What can I do?
Ė The Troll in St. Pete
Dear Troll: The time to get organized is now. Begin by cleaning your room and making sure you have a study area that is not messy. After that, you should always put your projects and completed assignments in ONE SPOT, and they wonít be lost. Youíll be able to find them easily.