Dear Abby: I am 38 and have been married to a good husband and provider for 11 years. We have two beautiful children and a lovely home. We appear to be the perfect couple.
Our problem is that my husband seems to be intimidated by my sexuality. In the past, I have told my husband what pleases me. My comments made him feel inadequate, and he has completely given up. We haven’t had sex in two years. He says he would rather pleasure himself so he doesn’t have to worry that he isn’t “doing it right.”
I am a normal, red-blooded woman, and I need sex several times a month. Is that so wrong? I have resorted to having an affair with a man whose wife isn’t interested in sex, but I would prefer having a sex life with my husband.
I think my husband knows I am unfaithful. However, he accepts it because it’s easier for him to deal with than having sex with me. Is there anything I can do to make my husband try again?
– Desperately Seeking Sex
Dear Desperately: Having affairs may temporarily satisfy your sexual needs, but it can only damage your marriage further. If ever there were candidates who could benefit from sex therapy, it is you and your husband. Even though he may be reluctant to face this problem, insist that he see a therapist with you. Please don’t wait – it could save your marriage.
It’s nobody’s business
Dear Abby: I gave birth to a son almost 40 years ago. His biological father would not help me, so I placed the baby for adoption.
Here’s the problem: People are always asking me if I have any children. Should I lie and say no, or try to explain? Legally, my son does not belong to me. Please tell me what to say to my questioners.
– Sincerely Concerned
Dear Concerned: Usually people ask that question only as a way to make conversation. Your personal history is nobody’s business. If you prefer not to give a detailed explanation about your personal history, simply say no.
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