It's time to start singing (because the alternative is drinking). Enjoy!
"Romney the Once Front-Runner" (to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")
Romney, the once front-runner
Had a very well-coifed mane
And if you ever saw it
You would run and vote for Cain.
All of the other hopefuls
Used to call him "Worse than Dole"
They wouldn't let poor Romney
Win a single Gallup poll.
Then one desperate Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
"Romney with your MBA -- Get the hell off of my sleigh."
Then all the hopefuls jeered him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Romney, the once front-runner
You are gonna lose to me! You are gonna lose to me!"
"I Can't Get a Loan" (to the tune of "There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays")
Oh, I can't get a loan for the holidays
'Cause my house is worth less than my new phone
How I pine for the sub-prime, easy-dollar days
For the holidays I cannot get a loan.
"Sleep, Osama" (to the tune of "All Through the Night")
Sleep, Osama, with the fishes
All through the night
Give your virgins our best wishes
All through the night.
So much for the Big Kahuna
Only wish we'd done it soona
Now here's hoping some fat tuna
Loves every bite.
"The First Purell" (to the tune of "The First Noel")
At first Purell was a rarely seen thing
It was something a Howard Hughes nutcase would bring.
Then it spread, just like the pox, to each shop, home and school
As if every door handle was slathered in stool.
Purell, Purell, Purell, Purell!
You have made normal life into germ hell.
"We Three Things" (to the tune of "We Three Kings")
We three things of Rick Perry are
Things to cut from budget so far:
First comes Commerce,
Ed-u-cation's worse
Then comes
"I'll Be Broke by Christmas" (to the tune of "I'll Be Home for Christmas")
I'll be broke by Christmas
You can count on me
I'll trample on somebody's mom
To buy a big TV.
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the Sony beams
I'll be broke by Christmas
Which may explain the screams.
It may explain my screams.
"It's iPhone Time in The City" (to the tune of "Silver Bells")
Look at my phone, it's an iPhone
You can tell I've got style
It's iPhone time in the city
Hear me tapping on that app thing
Texting :) after :)
And on every street corner you hear:
Steven Jobs, Steven Jobs!
We miss you here on this planet
Ring-a-ling, hear that ping?
Part of you's with us today.
Look at my pad, it's an iPad
How I love its glass screen
As I update my status on Facebook
Burl Ives croons on my iTunes
'Cause I shelled out some green
And on every sleek earbud you hear:
Steven Jobs, Steven Jobs!
We miss you here on this planet
Ring-a-ling, hear that ping?
Part of you's with us today.