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Yes, I have peanut butter all over my face.

No, it wasn't any fun. But let's put that aside for a moment.

Ahem.

Mom probably told you that peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. But did she also tell you it could be used to remove stickiness, like stubborn price tags or paper labels? And did she tell you that banana peels could shine your shoes and relieve the itch of bug bites, that coffee grounds could add softness and shine to your hair, and Coke could clean your toilet and remove oil spots from your driveway?

No, but we will. From crushed grapes that help exfoliate your face to burnt banana leaves that can halt hiccups, food can be far more than just ... food. At least that's what the Internet tells us. And we believe everything we read on the Internet.

OK, so we were skeptical. But in the name of waving goodbye to my last shred of dignity, we thought we'd try out a few of the more "interesting" claims. First up: shaving with peanut butter. That's right. I actually slathered my face with Skippy. If you must know, it was the smooth variety. I wasn't up for the extra-chunky face massage that one site claimed would "tenderize" my whiskers.

What do they think I am, stupid?

Wait. I'm shaving with peanut butter.

Jabbing two fingers into the jar, I scooped the golden goop onto my cheeks and "lathered up."

It was a bad idea. Not only didn't it work, I'm pretty sure I need a new razor. But it wasn't a total loss. I cleaned the rest of my face with a bagel and had breakfast.

While I was at it, I tried other nonfood food suggestions from the Internet, such as reducing the puffiness around your eyes with cucumber slices, and seeing if I could make my hair soft and shiny with coffee grounds.

My conclusion?

They don't pay me enough!

Seriously, I've got coffee grounds in my skivvies!

But, in case you're wondering, the cucumber did reduce my eye puffiness, and the grounds (which you usually massage in during a shower) left my locks soft and smelling like Starbucks.

>Food's nonfood uses

Here are some other interesting uses for food other than eating it that you can try.

* Clean shower tiles: Spray undistilled white vinegar on shower tiles to clean gunk and mold out of grout lines.

* Protect your windshield: Prevent ice from forming on your windshield in winter by coating it with a solution of three parts vinegar and one part water.

* Eliminate cooking odors: Boil one tablespoon of white vinegar with one cup of water.

* Polish brass: Use lemon juice and salt to polish brass and stainless steel. Remember to toss the used lemon rind down the disposal to keep it smelling fresh.

* Polish furniture: Mix two parts olive oil with one part lemon juice and gently rub in using a cloth.

* Un-squeak door hinges: Don't have any of the commercial products handy? Just take an eyedropper and hit the offending hinge with a drop of olive oil.

* Unstick a zipper: Using a cotton swab, apply a small amount of olive oil to the teeth, being careful not to touch or drip oil on the fabric. Work back and forth and reapply if necessary until the zipper moves freely.

* Kick-start campfires: Ever have trouble getting that kindling to catch fire out on the campsite? Take a tin of sugar with you the next time. Tossing a handful of sugar on a nascent flame will help it ignite into a full fire.

* Fertilize plants: Old coffee grounds are rich in nutrients and can help plants that thrive in acidic soil.