‘The Informers’: Bad soap opera from Bret Easton Ellis

It’s no fun being stuck in writer’s imagination

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Oh, the decadence of it all! Oh, the sheer unadulterated horse puckey. It’s Los Angeles, see, at the dawn of the Age of AIDS. We’re in the imagination of Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the original novel. This is not necessarily a place you want to be — especially if you’ve already been there before, say in his first novel “Less Than Zero” (with a lacerating performance by a young Robert Downey Jr. in the ensuing film) or in his most controversial one, “American Psycho.”

Yeah, sure “The Informers” marks the first time Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger have been in the same film since they were the soft core Romeo and Juliet in “91/2 Weeks” (the movie that made your refrigerator a sexual appliance). Unfortunately, they’re not in it together, which kind of blows that angle, you know?

Kim plays the ex-wife of movie mogul Billy Bob Thornton. They’re about to reconcile, so she tells her young stud lover — half her age or less — to get off her, the party’s over. His reply is: “Could I borrow 60 bucks? I’ve got to pay this guy for these Billy Idol tickets.” Before the movie is over, she gets to lose her temper. Good for her, I say.

Billy Bob is — sort of — breaking up with his anchor babe squeeze played by Winona Ryder. Jon Foster plays their son, a bisexual young man who has wretched taste in partners of both sexes. “I need someone to tell me what is good,” he says at one point. “I need someone to tell me what is bad.” (Very simple, kid. Look at your movie. That’s what bad is.)

Amber Heard is the kid’s female squeeze. She spends the lion’s share of the movie shirtless at the very least and pays dearly for it. There’s a ton of nudity in “The Informers” — and partner shifting, too.

People drink vodka as if it were Mountain Dew and take lots of drugs. One rocker is advised to wear long sleeves to a meeting with a film producer because “you have holes in your arms.” When he gets to the meeting, the producer tells him “this movie is your typical rock star in outer space type movie.” The star’s manager then informs him, “We’re very picky; Brian turned down ‘Amadeus,’ you know.”

Rourke, as a homicidal maniac, is the best thing in the movie. By film’s end, you’ll regret the paucity of his toll.

Look at this movie in one way, and it’s an atrocity trying unsuccessfully to be bad soap opera. Look at it another way, and it’s a spontaneous in-theater party waiting to happen — a kind of unintentionally hilarious midnight movie whatever time it’s shown. See it with the right crowd, and you’ll want to write down every wisecrack afterward and share them with your friends.

Actor Brad Renfro — playing an actor making do as a hotel bellboy — says at one point, “You can’t really make it in this town unless you’re willing to do some really awful things.” Then he pauses. And adds, “I’m willing.”

And so the real actor was. He made the movie.

And then, sadly, without any unintentional humor at all, died of an accidental heroin overdose.•

jsimon@buffnews.com

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