FROM THE HOME FRONT
Susan Martin: Quirky? And that’s a problem?
Most times when I back my car out of the driveway and tap the remote, I wait to see if the garage door closes all the way before I drive off.
On those occasions when I don’t, I feel compelled to drive around the block, just to make sure the door didn’t hit a snag and rise again.
That’s not all.
If I enter an elevator and the button to my destination floor is already lit, I go ahead and push it again anyway.
And at work, I keep perfectly sharpened pencils pointing upward from their holder, a habit that has not gone unnoticed by several of my co-workers.
So is it any wonder that one of them recently handed over a review copy of a book with the all-lowercase title: “i am neurotic” (harperstudio, $12.99)?
“Maybe you can do something with this,” my office mate said, turning quickly away.
Nice, eh?
Troubling title aside, I flipped through the book and discovered that it was a humorous collection of people’s quirky habits, rituals and hang-ups.
Entries came from a blog of the same name created by author Lianna Kong, who defines neurotic as “more of a colloquial term” to describe people’s various idiosyncrasies –or even personality type (think Woody Allen, or Monica Geller from “Friends”).
I came to one entry accompanied by a photograph of perfectly organized paper money emerging from a wallet.
It read: “Whenever I get any cash it has to be ordered from least to most value and all the faces must be oriented the same way …”
I knew I was on to something.
Here are some other entries from the book, with the full title “i am neurotic (and so are you).” I bet you may even see yourself in some of them:
• “I open the mailbox every time I walk by. Even when I know there is no mail, like on Sundays or at 3 in the morning.”
• “Toilet paper must be on the roll with the loose end trailing over the top not the bottom. I have been compelled to fix this error in friends’ homes, churches and public restrooms.”
• “I have a thing about numbers that end in zero. When I’m pumping gas, if it stops at $38.46, I have to get it to $39.00 even.”
• “Crumbs in butter tubs or jars of jelly drive me crazy…when I lived with many roommates, I would write ‘No Crumbs’ on the lid of the butter container.”
• “I can’t stop myself from aligning the strings on my hooded sweatshirts, and even try to fix other people’s strings.”
• “Whenever I go to the bottled water cooler at work I always have to take the cup second from the top of the dispenser in case the first one has been touched by someone else.”
• When I eat a Hershey’s Kiss, I have to bite off the point at the top.”
So perhaps I’m not the only one who feels compelled to tuck in a stranger’s shirt tag.
Or to always give a pillowcase a vigorous two shakes before putting it on a pillow.
Or to turn all can labels to the front so I can read them, even though I don’t think the cats care whether they get Beef Feast or Turkey Feast.
Of one thing I am certain: Our garage door is closed.
Need a sharp pencil?
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