MY VIEW
Many of us living well with invisible disability
Updated: 09/05/08 6:32 AM
It was this past January and the media was fixated on the story of Britney Spears and her alleged bout with what was described as bipolar disorder. I’d had it. Whether Spears was diagnosed or not as bipolar, this certainly was not the way that she should be treated. Why, I asked myself, do we only hear about the worst when it comes to mental illness in the news?
I have been living with bipolar disorder for 27 years. I’ve been to a variety of institutions, including the Buffalo Psychiatric Center and Erie County Medical Center. Early in my recovery, I’ve taken any number of medications, including Lithium and Mellaril, which I currently take to help control my bipolar disorder. It has by no means been an easy feat getting my disease under control.
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned on this journey is to take care of myself. I gave up drinking and drugging more than
20 years ago and took up running as a means of fitness and mood stabilization. I try to get enough sleep on a regular basis.
I also have a strong spiritual program of prayer and worship through my church. My family and close friends have been an incredibly important part of my recovery as well.
Having been free from hospitalization since 1995, I have maintained steady employment as well as a stable family life with my wife, two daughters and father, with whom we live.
Yes, life is good. Most people in my daily life are unaware of my condition, and why should they be? I am a responsible and productive member of society and I do not bring attention to the fact that my brain chemistry is different than theirs.
Just recently, I was speaking with someone I have known professionally for several years. When I disclosed that I had bipolar disorder she said, “Forgive me for saying this, but I never would have known that you were bipolar.”
So there you go. What does someone with bipolar disorder look like? Am I supposed to have a wild and freaky look, as if I’m having a manic episode? Or should I appear as though I have the weight of the world on my shoulders with no end in sight?
Yes, I have been to hell and back and have the scars to prove it. But by no means will I let the limitations of my past dictate the potential of my present, or my future.
I have learned so much about myself and my illness over the years. One of the most important is that despite how bad things can get, they can always improve. I have also learned the value of persistence. That is the one ingredient that drives motivation and provides the energy to not give up in the face of adversity.
The stigma that surrounds mental illness is stifling. This is due to the fear and misunderstanding that surrounds the disease. There is also a considerable amount of shame. Why? Considering that there are more than 4 million people in the United States living with bipolar disorder, chances are we all know someone who lives with it. What are we trying to hide?
So, the next time you are watching the news and hear another tragic story of someone whose unbalanced psyche pushed him over the edge, just remember, there are many others out there who are bravely facing their illness with courage and conviction. Chances are you encounter us every day — at work, school and in your neighborhood. That’s why it’s called an invisible disability.
